As a financial advisor, I’m often invited into deeply personal moments in my clients’ lives. One of the most tender, and often most difficult, is when a parent passes away. It’s a time when emotions run high, and steady, thoughtful support matters more than financial formulas.
In that situation, it’s necessary to keep the numbers in perspective—or more accurately, to set them aside temporarily. The loss of a parent marks the end of a relationship. No matter how healthy that relationship was, its sudden disappearance leaves a significant void.
For me, this is an ongoing learning experience. Observing how different clients handle grief has shown me that there’s no typical mourning process. I must simply be aware and attuned to others’ needs in order to offer a steady hand and heart as much as possible. In that area, documentation and procedure take a back seat, at least temporarily.
The Hidden Weight of Grief
The curious thing about the loss of a parent is how unexpectedly it can hit home. A random image, a fleeting memory, or a sudden sensory awareness can trigger a sense of loss. It can be anything from reading a homemade family recipe card to seeing an empty sofa where your parent used to sit.
Emily Dickinson called the grief of death an “awful leisure.” It’s during the stillness and quietude of mourning that emotions recharge and remind us of loss. It catches us off guard. At the same time, it’s normal. In theory, we expect sadness to come, but in practice, the weight of grief comes as an overwhelming surprise.
Empathy Over Function
When my clients experience that feeling, I have to do more than crunch the numbers and write the fine print. I have to provide a space for reflection and understanding. It’s just a matter of being human, sensing what shape of friendship and guidance my clients need, and assuring them, if necessary, that what they’re going through is part of the process of living, not an interruption.
It takes a surprising amount of courage to admit you’re overwhelmed. I have to expect that truth with clients facing the loss of a parent. I’ve seen clients sail through the financial and physical details, only to fall apart at the slightest reminder of who their parents were. There’s no flow chart or manual to process grief—only careful, genuine empathy.
Navigating Sibling Dynamics
The loss of a parent should be a moment when siblings unite. Sometimes, though, disagreements arise, accelerated by grief. Again, this is within the normal range of outcomes; families under stress are afforded a degree of emotional leniency.
When that happens, it’s important to remind the surviving family of their strengths. I’ve seen grieving family members clash, only to resolve their raw emotions and come together in the end. To be honest, the sheer scope and range of emotions experienced have made those moments of unity uniquely beautiful.
Creating Space for the Process
I’ve witnessed clients display many different processes for dealing with the loss of a parent. Some are determined and task-oriented, confronting the situation head-on. Others are more contemplative and reflective, needing more time and space to process their emotions.
Whatever their methods of getting through the loss of a parent, my role is to follow their lead and pace myself accordingly. I’m on their time. They deserve a respectful approach and process, no matter what stage they’re in. Each person’s grief is unique, and there’s no way to know what may happen in its wake.
In the weeks and months following a parent’s passing, even the smallest tasks can feel overwhelming. Yet a few things often need to be handled early: locating the will or trust, checking beneficiaries on financial accounts, and making sure household bills are being paid. I usually suggest starting with just one or two of these. There’s no rush to sort everything at once. We can move at a pace that feels manageable, and I’ll be there to help along the way.
Steady Guidance After the Loss of a Parent
My work with Deerfield Financial Advisors has shown me that in the wake of a parent’s passing, financial questions often take a back seat to emotional ones. In those first moments of loss, what families need most is not a checklist, but a caring, steady presence. Whether it’s helping navigate estate details or simply listening, I strive to meet clients where they are. Grief doesn’t follow a script, but having a trusted advisor by your side can make the journey feel less overwhelming.
If you’re facing this kind of transition, you don’t have to walk through it alone. Call (317) 469-2455, email ssteel@deerfieldfa.com, or use my online calendar to connect. Let’s move forward, at your pace, with purpose.
About Susie
Susie Steel is COO, Wealth Manager, and Senior Shareholder at Deerfield Financial Advisors, a fee-only financial advisory and wealth management firm with offices in Indianapolis and Chicago. With over three decades of experience in financial planning, Susie’s approach has always been rooted in a spirit of service, treating each client as an extension of her own family. She simplifies the complex for clients, with the goal of creating a calm, trusting, and nurturing environment. Her unwavering commitment to the principle of “To whom much is given, much will be required” serves as the driving force behind her dedication, diligence, and empathy.
Susie obtained a business management degree from Ball State University, holds the CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® designation, and held the Accredited Estate Planner (AEP®) designation from the National Association of Estate Planners & Councils (NAEPC) from 2013 to 2018. Susie is actively involved with an extensive list of professional organizations, including NAPFA (The National Association of Personal Financial Advisors), a premier association of fee-only financial advisors, and has served on multiple boards, committees, and councils. Her consistent recognition as one of Indianapolis Monthly’s “Five Star Wealth Managers” for the past decade attests to her outstanding accomplishments (2009-2025).
Outside the professional realm, Susie has contributed to her community through numerous efforts including her involvement in the Financial Center First Credit Union (FCFCU), the Indianapolis Children’s Museum Planned Giving Council, the Kiwanis Club of Northwest Indianapolis, and Junior Achievement. She mentors women through the CFP® Board’s “WIN-to-WIN” program, embodies the spirit of Rotary Club of Carmel, advocates for Indiana Canine Assistant Network (ICAN), and actively serves on the board of the Mary Rigg Neighborhood Center (MRNC).Susie and her husband, Kevin, reside in Carmel, Indiana, where they raised their three children. Outside the office, her focus centers around family, spirituality, and fostering meaningful connections. Embracing the concept of the body as a temple, her personal growth is nurtured through practices like strength training, yoga, and meditation. In her leisure time, she enjoys strolls with her dog, Lulu, and indulges in movies, podcasts, books, and the theater. To learn more about Susie, connect with her on LinkedIn.
